When it comes to dating, guys and girls have very different perspectives!
As a Christian man, I look around and see a lot of women/girls entering the dating scene without an honest understanding of what they are walking into.
There is a big lie being told to this generation that says, “Men and women essentially want the same things in a relationship.”
This is a damaging falsehood. They do not!
Trust me! If you could be a fly on the wall in a men’s locker-room for 5 minutes, you would know I am right.
I have been around guys of all ages my whole life – high-school, university, sports, and corporate America.
Many guys become “whatever the girl wants” for a short period of time to get what they want out of the relationship.
Now I’m not talking about the godly, mature man who is looking for his life’s partner! (Good guys do still exist – see #8.)
I am talking about the man who is out on the dating scene. The kind of guy you will sit beside in a college class, meet when you are out-on-the-town with friends, encounter on a work trip, or the “super nice” guy that just walks up to you and asks for your number.
As a happily married man, I have been out there. I have searched for the perfect woman for me – and I found her! But along the way, I encountered a lot of guys who used sly dating tactics to manipulate the girls they were “interested in”.
Below are 9 things every Dad should tell his daughter before she starts dating.
1.) A LOT OF GUYS JUST WANT SEX
…NOT a committed relationship that leads to marriage.
You may think you are dating a great guy! He loves taking you out on dates and he talks to you for hours. He brings you flowers and buys you gifts. The romance is real!
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a guy say, “I am going to GET SOME tonight!” Why does he think that? Because he has been working very hard to make you think that he is totally devoted to you and completely in love with you.
These kind of guys don’t treasure you. They don’t want to protect your heart and reputation.
Unfortunately, they want sex so much that they are willing to lie to and deeply hurt a girl just to get to “3rd base” as quickly as possible.
Are there good, caring, honorable guys out there? Of course! (But they aren’t very easy to find.)
I am here to tell you that there are a lot of filthy guys out there who will do whatever it takes to get into your pants.
2.) YOU ARE NOT A CAR!
There is a very common saying out there and it goes like this: “Having sex is like buying a car. You always test-drive the car before buying it. You’ve gotta’ test-drive the girl before marrying her.”
Let me make something very clear!
“You are not a car! You are a precious human being with a soul. A guy NEVER needs to test-drive you to prove your worth to him. If he insists on having sex, run away as fast as you can!”
If a guy is willing to devalue your worth to that of a mechanical object, he lacks wisdom, character, and respect for you.
When it comes to this, I am old-school. My wife and I didn’t have sex until we were married. Yes, it was difficult! BUT IT WAS WORTH IT! We knew that we were perfectly compatible and meant to be together before we took this step.
Sex means something deeper than just being a simple physical feeling. It should be something that is done carefully because there can be serious repercussions if it is done flippantly and thoughtlessly.
3.) SOME GUYS MIGHT TRY TO GUILT-TRIP YOU
Don’t ever let a guy pull this tactic on you!
He will detail all the incredible things he has done for you, to make you feel guilty for not going to the “next base” with him. He might even twist your own words to make it look like you led him on and gave him false hope. CLASSIC GUY MOVE!
If he is willing to make you feel guilty over something like this, imagine how manipulative he will be as your relationship continues to progress.
Men often play on the kind and sympathetic natures of girls. Stay firm on your decision and always know that you have value!
Just say, “No!” And walk away for good.
4.) GUYS ARE INCREDIBLY VISUAL
Although guys are visual, this doesn’t give them an excuse to stare at other women or look at pornography. YOU HEARD ME! There isn’t any excuse for it.
If you are out on a date and notice that he is checking out the girl behind you or staring at a group of ladies walking by, get rid of him!
If he thinks that he can get away with this behavior earlier on in your relationship, just imagine how bad it will get once you are “use to each other”.
As for pornography, it has a corrosive effect on a relationship. Pornography is a completely false representation of everything that is real and meaningful. It does nothing more than fill a man’s mind with false expectations for you and his relationship with you. It is one of the biggest causes for insecurity in a woman – knowing that she is being compared to a photoshopped actress.
Although pornography is rampant, there are still a lot of good men who know how destructive it is to them and their relationships.
Never let a guy convince you that it is harmless if he checks out other girls or views porn. It will be a great source of pain as your relationship progresses.
5.) It is Easy For Guys to Look godly for a While
Anyone can keep up appearances for a short period of time. Some can even do it for a very long time!
A lot of women have been sure their guy was “the one” because of his love for God – only to find out that he was just playing a part he knew would impress her.
Does he go to church with you, pray, read his Bible, and talk about his relationship with Christ? Make sure it is real before making any serious life decisions!
A lot of girls have married their Prince Charming only to find out that he doesn’t want to go to church anymore.
Being the only spiritual light in your home will be a heavy burden to carry through life – especially when it involves children.
A man with a close relationship with Christ is more likely to be a loving, faithful husband and father then a man that walks away from God. Period!
6.) THERE ARE STILL GOOD GUYS OUT THERE
Several years ago, if you talked to my wife, she would have said to you, “No, I am probably never getting married. There aren’t any good guys left out there.”
Many women shared her opinion – and many still do. Why? Because they encounter one pathetic guy after another!
Every time they started getting to know a guy, he started showing signs of being a manipulator, controller, pervert, inconsistent, etc.
But then she met me! Obviously, I’m not perfect – not even close to it. But we fell in love, married, and became life partners!
If you talked to her now, she would smile and say, “Good men are rare, but they are still out there.”
The most important thing you can do is NOT to lower your standards just because you haven’t met a really good man yet.
7.) Get to know someone before dating them
I know dating is often defined as the “get to know you” stage. But don’t stake ownership in each other when you don’t even know the person!
Hang out and spend some time together before changing your status to “in a relationship” on social media.
Maybe you don’t want to be associated with the guy, but you don’t know it yet. Maybe he is a solid 10/10 loser!
Many girls can think back to a dating relationship that changed them forever.
Perhaps he was manipulative, emotionally damaging, physically abusive, or uncaring with the way he handled the relationship.
By dating someone, you are linking your reputation up with theirs.
Don’t do that before you know if he is a honest, upright, godly guy who will treat you with respect.
You may or may not believe everything that I do. We may have a different set of morals and a different outlook on life.
However, as a man, I know the world that our girls will step into once they start dating.
The best advice you can give a girl is to “Hold your head high, pray hard, and don’t lower your standards for anyone!”