Marriage is a God-given gift, but it isn’t always sunshine and butterflies!
As you see your family and friends get married, you get to see how different personalities create different marriage styles.
Some couples get along extremely well, while others tend to disagree and bicker. One person may be laid back, while the other is Type A or high-stress!
Regardless of your marriage-style or personality type, one thing remains the same. You and your husband need to build each other up!
This article is going to address ways to build up your husband.
God made men with different desires and needs that women. Meeting these needs and building up your man can lead to a much happier and fulfilling marriage.
1.) Find Out His Love Language and Meet It
Most people have heard about “The 5 Love Languages” and the important roll that it plays in a relationship.
To sum it up, we all feel loved in different ways.
The 5 most essential ways are through physical touch, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.
Of course we love all these things! But usually, one or two of these things mean more to you than the others.
Get your husband to take this “Love Languages Test” and start fulfilling whatever the results say!
Maybe your husband LOVES it when you make a home-cooked meal for him. (Acts of Service)
Perhaps he wants you to get involved in an activity he enjoys. (Quality Time)
Or maybe he just wants you to verbally build him up and notice the things he does for you and your family? (Words of Affirmation)
Once you start meeting your spouse’s love language, you will often see a shift in their mood. You are fulfilling their deepest needs, and that is making them feel loved!
P.S. Take it for yourself, too! It takes two to make a relationship work.
2.) Acknowledge His Successes – Big and Small
Men are usually pretty good at appearing strong and self-sufficient.
But your husband needs your acknowledgement and complements so badly!
Thank him when he cleans up around the house, mows the lawn, takes out the trash, makes a meal, works overtime, etc.
Acknowledging his efforts takes only a few seconds, but it has the ability to energize him and motivate him to accomplish more. He needs this from you!
Once again, this is a two-way street and he should be acknowledging your efforts too. But that is another article for another day.
3.) Put Your Phone Down
Most of us are guilty of this one!
Our society has become unconsciously obsessed with our phones. Social media is one of the biggest wastes of time that this world has ever known.
…scrolling, scrolling, scrolling
When you greet your husband at the end of a workday or when you are spending quality time together, put the phone down.
Better yet, leave it in another room where it isn’t a temptation.
BE PRESENT when you are with each other. Give him 100% of your attention.
This will show him that he is your #1 priority and nothing else takes precedence in your life.
If you aren’t careful, your phone will steal away your attention and rob you of the special time you have with the person you love.
4.) Let Him Know You Admire and Respect Him
You need to verbalize this to your husband.
Fact: Most men gravitate towards the people who show them respect and admiration. Hopefully, this person is you.
When a man feels belittled or unappreciated, it makes him feel unconfident and often resentful.
If you feel like you can’t respect your husband, you need to get marriage counselling.
If you disagree with your husband on something, try to have a mutually respectful conversation about it.
Don’t use hurtful criticism and disrespect to get your point across. This rarely works!
Sit down and write down the things you admire about your husband. What does he do well in his job and in your marriage?
A great way to start is to ask him how his day went and let him know you appreciate his work ethic!
He will respond positively to your loving concerns/complaints if he feels that you are his biggest fan and main supporter.
5.) Let Him Know You Still “Want Him”
You’re tired, stressed-out, and pulled in 20 different directions. You just want food and sleep!
But you need to make time for your husband – and you need to put hugs, kisses, and sex on your TOP PRIORITY to-do list.
Your husband wants to feel “wanted” by you!
When you see him at the end of the day, stop what you’re doing and greet him. Hug and kiss him and let him know you are happy to see him!
(Yes, you have a million things to do! But make him feel like your priority – because he is! Imagine life without him.)
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, let him know that he still has that “IT factor”!
You still think he is sexy and you are still attracted to him!
Related Article: 9 Amazing Ways to Bond with Your Spouse
6.) Brag Him Up In Public
Don’t say things you don’t mean and over-do it, but brag your man up!
Many husbands don’t talk about their accomplishments or what an amazing husband they are.
But, guess what! You can do it for him!
It might embarrass him a little bit, but it is okay for you to let your friends and family know that you have an incredible husband!
Side Note: Don’t over-do it on social media. Even if you are sincere, it has the appearance of being braggadocios or overcompensating for something in your marriage.
7.) Encourage him to do the things he loves
…even if you don’t necessarily love them!
What makes your husband happy and what makes him feel young?
Perhaps he loves playing on a local sport’s team? Maybe he loves getting together with some friends once a week? Or perhaps he likes to play a video game once in a while.
Let him do it – and don’t make him feel guilty for wanting to have some fun!
Even if you kind-of don’t love his passtime (possibly watching sports), let him have it.
(This does not mean spending excessive time away from you or supporting an unhealthy habit/addiction. If he is doing something that is negatively impacting your relationship, get marriage counselling.)
- 9 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
- 9 Amazing Ways to Bond with Your Spouse
- 11 Signs He Is the One God Has for You
I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Building up your spouse is something that is incredibly easy, but doesn’t come naturally to some people.
Some people are shy to give compliments and some didn’t grow up in a home with parents who had a happy marriage, so it doesn’t come naturally.
The 7 tips above are a great place to start if you want to make your husband feel loved and appreciated.