We all have fallen for the ‘Comparison Game’!
Without even realizing it, we start to compare or lives, bodies, belongings, abilities, kids, relationships, etc.
For some people, this makes them feel better about themselves (for a very short period of time).
For others, it leaves them feeling self-conscious, inadequate, lonely, resentful, and deeply unhappy.
In the end, no one wins!
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steve Furtick
Below are 7 steps to stop comparing yourself to others.
1.) Learn to Shut Down Negative Thoughts Immediately
You know that little voice inside your head that says damaging things like the following:
“Her body is way better than yours and her clothes are much nicer!”
“Her vehicle is way nicer than yours.”
“She is way better at doing XYZ than you are! Why are you even trying?!”
“Her marriage is so much better than yours!”
When you start feeling these negative thoughts of comparison filling your mind, actively shut it down and do the opposite!
Say to yourself, “These negative thoughts are stealing my joy and ruining my day. They are not welcome in my head or heart anymore!”
Next, combat these ‘comparison thoughts’ with positivity.
“This is the body God Gave me and I’m so thankful that I have good health and the money to have clothes. That is so much more than most people in this world!”
“It doesn’t matter if my vehicle or other belongings aren’t brand new or the latest trends. I am so grateful for what God has provided me with in life.”
Over time, your mind will get better at combating negative self-talk and comparison with positive thinking.
A positive mindset and a grateful heart are two of the greatest gifts you can carry though life!
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Related Article: 9 Signs You Have Become a Negative Person
2.) Maybe Take a Break from Social Media
Can you identify increased feelings of jealousy and comparison whenever you start scrolling through social media?
Every time you scroll through your social media feed, you are primarily seeing the “highlight reel” of everyone else’s life.
Happy relationships, expensive gifts, new vehicles, new homes, dream vacations, stylish outfits, flawless complexions, happy children, dream spouse, etc.
Without even realizing it, you start to compare your REAL life to your “online friend’s” online world. Feelings of inadequacy and envy always follow.
If you can identify yourself in the scenario above, it may b time for you to take a break from social media.
Detox your mind by taking the following steps:
- Choose a specific time frame to stay off of social media. 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months?
- Deactivate your account and delete the app from your phone.
- It will probably take 3-7 days for you to stop mindlessly clicking in the place where your social media app used to be. Why? Because you are breaking a bad habit – social media addiction.
- Whatever you do, don’t let FOMO (fear of missing out) draw you back in. You aren’t missing out on anything that one of your friends can’t text you about.
- After several weeks off social media, you will probably start to notice that your jealous feelings have subsided.
By taking this step, you aren’t giving yourself the opportunity to compare you life to everyone else’s “highlight reel” and filtered pictures.
You may find yourself feeling so mentally refreshed that you want to stay off social media for a lot longer!
Related Article: 5 Serious Signs You Need a Social Media Break
3.) Make a Serious Effort To Celebrate Other People’s Success
“If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Max Ehrmann
When other people accomplish something big, have a big win in life, achieve something you can only dream of, or are given an opportunity that you really wanted, what do you do?
You have a choice to make!
You can either focus your attention on your natural feelings of jealousy and resentment or you can CHOOSE to be genuinely happy for them and celebrate their success.
Send them a message congratulating them on their success. Don’t talk negatively about them to others or become fixated on how you deserve their success more than they do.
If you allow these jealous thoughts to take over you heart and mind, you will live a life full of resentment and bitterness.
I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
James 3:16 “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
4.) Make Minimalism “Your Thing”
In a world that is obsessed with always having MORE, why not focus your attention on being happier with LESS.
If your comparison issues have to do with materialistic things (your home, vehicle, clothes, etc.), why not change up the way you live?
Today, minimalism is in style! People are embracing minimalistic home decor, outfits, and overall lifestyle.
This lifestyle helps you focus on purchasing what you NEED instead of what you WANT.
Most people start off by going through all their belongings and getting rid of everything that they do not need – at least half of the things they own!
Stop keeping things because you are pointlessly attached to them. Throw out everything that you don’t use on a weekly basis (clothes, shoes, kitchen utensils, toys, childhood junk, etc.).
After you are done downsizing your personal belongings, start tackling your thought life!
Every time you see something that sparks jealous thoughts, think “Do I really need that to be happy?”
Do you need the latest fashion trends? They only last a year or so!
Do you need that high-end makeup? Drugstore makeup works just fine.
Why are you thinking about buying something just because your friend has it? You don’t NEED it!
Adopting a minimalistic lifestyle and mindset can help you become more contented with less.
As an added bonus, this lifestyle is actually biblical!
I Timothy 6:6-8 “Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.”
5.) Evaluate Your Circle of Trust & Influence
Whether you have a dominating personality or not, you are impressionable!
The people who will influence your decisions the most are your closest friends. Choose them wisely!
You want to surround yourself with people who are kind, encouraging, generous, strong in their faith, and confident with who God made them to be!
You do not want friends who gossip, take far more than they give, and are never satisfied with what they currently have in life.
Do your friends encourage you to be contented and to count your blessings?
Or do they encourage you to constantly “treat yourself” with the latest trends, fashion, styles, and impulse items.
“Go get some new clothes! You work hard and you deserve it!” (Whether you can afford it or not)
“Girl, you need some botox! You’re starting to get lines in your forehead!”
There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay up-to-date. But there is something wrong with never being contented with what you have!
Once you’ve bought the “one” thing you wanted, you will find yourself wanting something else.
Choose friends who build you up, just the way you are. You don’t need to buy anything new or change who you are to maintain your standing in the relationship.
Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Related Article: What Does The Bible Say About Going “No Contact”?
6.) Embrace Who God Made You To Be
God created you to be different than everyone else!
He created you with your own unique personality, character traits, body type, capabilities, talents, and limitations!
The devil loves nothing more than to make you doubt yourself and your abilities because he knows that it limits you from accomplishing things for the glory of God.
As a Christian, God gave you a spiritual gift – something He gave you the unique and special ability to do. Every single Christian has one!
Romans 12:6-8 “Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads,[f] with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”
When it comes to your personality or physical character traits, don’t change them because of social pressure or comparison.
Don’t hide your loud, infectious laugh!
Stop focusing on the number on the scale, and focus on being healthy.
Brag on your friend for accomplishing something big! But don’t try to be like her when God didn’t give you the same set of abilities.
Focus on what God made you good at and be contented with it!
Luke 12:15 “And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
7.) Make a list of Uplifting Bible Verses and Blessings In Your Life
There is nothing like a list of uplifting Bible verses to brighten your day.
In correlation with this, also make a list of life blessings that God has given you.
Philippians 4: 6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and H will give you the desires of your heart.
Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
It is human nature to take our eyes off of all the amazing things that God has given us in life and focus on all the things we don’t have.
Every time you start feeling comparison creeping into your mind and heart, combat it with TRUTH.
Truth is always revealed through God’s word. Pin some Bible verses around your house and put a list of blessings beside it.
Take some time to thank God for the life he has given you. Gratitude is an amazing way to chase away the thoughts of comparison.
- 5 Serious Signs You Need a Social Media Break
- 9 Types of Toxic People the Bible Warns About
- 17 Characteristics of a Classy Christian Woman