7 Signs You're in a Toxic Relationship

Most romantic relationships start with both people on their best behavior!

Your boyfriend seems like he is attentive, kind, generous, and a true gentleman. He seems too good to be true!

Fast forward a year or so – and it was too good to be true. The dynamic of your relationship has changed – he has changed.

But you are so emotionally invested in the relationship and you “love” him so much that you can’t imagine your world without him.

This is when the relationship gets difficult and dangerous for YOU.

Your significant other is comfortable treating you in a toxic manner – and you are getting use to this unhealthy treatment.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Does this verse define your relationship? Or do things seem to be the opposite?

Below are 7 signs you’re in a seriously toxic relationship and what you need to do about it.

1.) You feel really bad about yourself

Think back to before you started the relationship.

Did you use to be a happy, contented person with a healthy view of yourself?

But now, do you constantly have negative, unhappy feelings deep down inside – doubting yourself and your relationship?

The enjoyment that you once felt in your relationship is completely gone. You are left feeling miserable, lonely, and confused.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

If you are in an unhealthy, toxic relationship, it can “crush your spirit” and make your future look like a dead-end street.

This is a clear sign that you are currently in a relationship with someone that isn’t “The One” God has for you.

If you are currently dating or engaged, you are still at the VERY BEGINNING of your life together. It shouldn’t be this way.

Something in your relationship has gone sour, causing you to doubt yourself and see yourself in a negative light.

It’s time to pray, do some soul-searching, and make some changes asap! Life is too short to be in a toxic relationship like this.

2.) You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him

Do you find yourself always trying to gauge your boyfriend’s moods?

Does he “pick at you” for little habits or personality traits that he doesn’t like about you (making you feel self-conscious)?

Are you nervous to breach certain topics with him because you are afraid of how he will respond?

These are just a few examples of what it is like to walk on eggshells around the person that you should be the most comfortable with. This is not okay in a healthy relationship!

You should NOT have to constantly gauge the mood of a mature, loving man who treats you with the respect you deserve.

And if he is making you feel self-conscious about personality traits and little quirks that make you who you are, HE IS WRONG! This is a red flag that he is trying to change you into something that you are not.

Walking on eggshells fills you with feelings of fear, discomfort, self-consciousness, and confusion.

If you feel this way around your boyfriend, it needs to be addressed.

Sometimes, it is a simple lack of communication that has caused this unhealthy relationship dynamic. Other times, it is a sign that your boyfriend has some major issues that you can no longer be a part of.

Staying in a relationship like this can take a serious toll on your mental health.

3.) His “Joking Personality” Has Become Sarcastic and Hurtful

In the right circumstances, sarcasm can be very funny!

But it can also be used as a tool of cruelty, mockery, criticism, and negativity.

Do you feel that his excessive jokes and teasing are veiled criticisms of you? Do you find yourself trying to “laugh off” things that he said to you, but you really just want to cry?

If you feel excessively teased to the point of feeling emotional, you need to address it with him!

You absolutely have to tell him that you are not okay with this treatment. It is very important that you make him aware of your “limits” and what you are okay with, otherwise he will never know – and this misunderstanding could ruin your relationship.

Most of the time, it is a immature misunderstanding or an immature way for him to voice his frustration with something you did. (Healthy communication is key to a healthy relationship!)

But at times, this may show that he has passive-aggressive, manipulative, and deeply toxic tendencies that can injure you deeply.

If he doesn’t make a serious effort to respect you and brushes your reaction off as “your inability to take a joke”, this is a bad sign.

Know your limits and communicate them with him. It’s a great place to start before making any decisions about the future of your relationship.

Related Article: 9 Types of Toxic People the Bible Warns About

4.) Your Closest Friends & Family Don’t Approve of Him

Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Being in a romantic relationship is an exciting and emotional roller-coaster.

Your feelings can easily cloud your better judgement and cause you to unconsciously ignore or completely not see some serious warning signs that your trusted friends or family have noticed.

Some men are VERY good at playing the part for a while.

They can be a gentleman, go to church, follow the rules, and check every box of what a good Christian guy should be!

This is where your closest friends and family can save you!

If someone you trust comes to you with some concerns about your relationship, try not to get offended. Your first instinct will be to get defensive!

Don’t allow yourself to be ruled by your heart and your feelings. They can be very deceptive.

Make a conscious effort to respectfully listen and seriously consider what they have said to you. Pray about it!

In some cases, your friends or family may be wrong. But usually, they are trying to save you from a life-changing mistake.

Related Article: 7 Signs He Is Not the One God Has for You

5.) You Seem to Fight All The Time Now

In the beginning, you got along like peaches and cream!

You felt like you agreed on most everything and your personalities really complimented each other.

But now it seems like every time you try to have a deep and meaningful conversation, you end up clashing on something and fighting!

Some people grew up with parents who fought, so they think it is a “normal relationship dynamic”. Others have “strong personalities” and feel like compromise is a weak character quality.

Whatever the case is, it is NOT okay and it is extremely unhealthy. Disagreements, little arguments, and misunderstandings are normal – fighting is not!

Fighting is an unhealthy way to solve problems and almost always includes hurtful criticism, personal attacks, discrediting of opinions, and anger.

If you find you and your boyfriend fight a lot, it’s time to assess the state of your relationship and make the difficult decision of whether it has become a toxic place to be.

Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 14:29 “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”

6.) He Doesn’t Respect Your Opinions

Some guys have this idea that they make the rules, your convictions/opinions are more like “suggestions”, and your duty as “the woman in the relationship” is to smile and agree!

Run, darling run!

This is neither acceptable nor biblical!

God made the equality of men and women very clear! Although he gives us different roles, it does not diminish our voice nor right to equality within the relationship.

The Bible makes it clear that women are suppose to be treated with love, respect, honor, and care.

A man is suppose to love his wife as he loves himself and as Christ loved the church.

Loving her as he loves himself is a very tall order! This means respecting her opinions, talking through decisions, making compromises when necessary, and being respectful.

If you feel unheard and disrespected in your relationship now, imagine how bad it will become once you’re married.

You have the privilege of living in the 21st century where you get to choose the man you marry! Make this choice wisely.

7.) You feel manipulated by him

Have you noticed patterns of manipulation start to show in his behavior towards you?

Guilt-tripping, comparing you to other people, withholding affection, love-bombing you when you start distancing yourself, playing the victim, lying, gaslighting, etc.

A mentally abusive person uses manipulation to break your spirit and change you into the person they want you to be. In other words, you aren’t good enough the way you are.

The Bible says to RUN AWAY from people like this. If you allow toxic and manipulative people to stay in your life, you will suffer harm.

If you look closely, behind the manipulation lies a person who is deeply insecure. By manipulating you, he is giving himself a sense of power and validation.

Don’t allow his issues to steal your God-given joy and purpose! God created you exactly the way you are with a divine purpose to serve him. Don’t allow the devil to use someone to destroy this because he would love nothing more than to crush you and destroy the life God has given you.

If you have noticed this toxic trend in your relationship, it may be God’s way of steering you in a new direction. Only He can satisfy – not the relationship!

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Please know that God wants what is best for your life! He wants to bless you and fill your life with meaning and contentment.

Don’t allow an unhealthy relationship to fill you with resentment, bitterness, regret, depression, and deep unhappiness.

It’s too easy to get use to toxic treatment and lose sight of who you are.

When evaluating your relationship, read this verse. Does it define both you and your significant other? Remember, it isn’t only about your effort because it takes two to make a successful relationship!