Sooooo, you’ve met someone and you kinda like them – a lot!
It’s one of the most fun and exciting feelings that you can experience – with a bit of confused butterflies because you don’t know what the future holds! 🙂
Although these feelings are powerful, reason and godly discernment need to remain at the forefront of your mind.
As a godly Christian woman, your dating life should be marked with wise choices and whole lot of prayer!
Dating is an extremely emotional experience. Having a big crush and being “in love” with someone is full of every feeling possible.
But your feelings and emotions can lead to poor choices, heartache, and regret.
If you guard your heart and keep Christ at the center of your desires, your experience can be completely opposite!
Regardless of what you may feel at times, not all the good men are gone! There are still good, godly, wise, principled men who love God and want to honor you.
But before dating anyone, you need to ask yourself some serious questions.
Dating the right or wrong person can change you – for better or worse.
Before entering a dating relationship, answer these questions to ensure you are protecting yourself and being fair to the other person.
1.) What is his reputation? What do people say about him?
A person’s reputation precedes them!
What have you heard people say about him? What is the general opinion people have about his character?
Is it good or is it bad?
Is his life marked by good choices or reckless behavior?
Does he show respect to his mother, sisters, and other women?
Is he known to be kind & caring or quick-tempered & sarcastic?
Does his actions show his fear of God or does he live an ungodly lifestyle?
Do other people respect him?
Sometimes, social media can be very telling of someone’s character. Other times, social media is used to present a false image of themselves online.
Don’t believe everything you see, but don’t try to explain away a post, comment, or picture that reveals a distasteful side of him.
If you really want to get to know that person before you go out on a date or commit to a relationship, talk to those closest to them. Talk to their friends, pastor, coach, teachers, etc.
Dating someone is serious. Don’t commit to dating someone unless you really know who they are and what their character is.
Related Article: 7 Signs He Is Not the One God Has for You
2.) What kind of friends does he have?
A person’s social circle and closest friends can tell so much about them!
What kind of people does he associate himself with? Are they mature, godly men or are they foolish, immature, immoral boys.
Even if your potential suitor seems like an amazing person, his friends are a perfect determiner of who he really is.
If you hear fowl language, impure remarks, mean comments, dirty jokes, and other distasteful things – you will probably want to walk away from the “potential relationship”.
Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
I Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
You want to date and marry a man whose friends you want to invite into your home and whose company you enjoy.
A man’s closest friends are his greatest influences. You want a man who has godly friends who influence him to be closer to Christ.
3.) Does he really (really) love Jesus?
A person can talk all day about who they are and what they want to be.
A person’s social media can be full of Bible verses, their words sound flawless, and their appearance perfect.
But their actions are what really matter!
Does his daily life show that he loves the Lord with all his heart?
Does he like other people to know he is a Christ-follower?
Is he 100% certain of his faith in Jesus Christ – unwavering in his certainty of salvation?
You do not want to make the mistake of dating and marrying a man who doesn’t love the Lord with all his heart!
Christ needs to be the cornerstone of a strong, successful, and happy marriage. How will he love you like Jesus if he doesn’t love Him?
If he really loves the Lord, you will see it very quickly! His character and reputation will reveal the level of his love for Christ and others.
Related Article: 11 Signs He Is the One God Has for You
4.) Are you ready for a new relationship?
It’s time for you to look in the mirror and focus on yourself!
Maybe you’re not over your ex. (Thinking about them, angry at them, maybe still crying, and even stalking them on social media.)
Perhaps you aren’t in a healthy place to invite someone else into your life – on such a personal level?
Do you need to take some extra time to grow as a Christian woman? (Grow in your relationship with Christ and grow in your understanding of who you are as a person.)
If you are not REALLY ready to open yourself up for a new relationship and welcome someone into your life, it isn’t fair for you to date someone new – at least not yet!
Don’t rush into a dating relationship because you are scared they won’t wait for you.
If they really care about you and if it is God’s will, they will wait for you! (Seriously! If they see you as “worth the wait”, they will wait.)
5.) Is your personal relationship with Christ shallow?
It is so easy for a girl to get into a relationship and allow the man or the relationship to define who they are.
Unknowingly, the relationship becomes their new identity.
This is so very unhealthy! And it can be disastrous for the success of a relationship.
How do you expect to have a godly relationship if you don’t actually have a strong relationship with Christ?
When you are in trouble, is prayer the last place you turn? Or is Jesus on the forefront of your mind every single day?
Make sure that you have daily communication with Christ and read his Word. It will guide you in every area – including your relationship.
You NEED Him to show you whether your “potential suitor” is the right man for you or not.
6.) Do your past relationships have a negative pattern?
You know what I mean! Do your relationships go really well for a little while, and then slowly take a turn for the worst?
Are you attracted to a “type”? (The “edgy guy”, the “guy with the broken wing”, the “guy with commitment issues”, etc.)
Do your relationships always end the same way?
Do you both bring bad habits into the relationship that slowly pull you apart?
If you can identify a negative pattern in your relationships, you need to take a step back and work on yourself.
Take some time for YOU to mature, grow in confidence, and become the person God created you to be.
Sometimes, being single can be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Give yourself some time to grow. Talk to your closest friends and get wise counsel from those who care about you.
Pray and ask the Lord to guide your steps. Tell him the desires of your heart! Be vulnerable and ask Him to help you with your weaknesses!
If it is His will for you to date and marry, these “negative patterns” shouldn’t dominate your relationship.
7.) Do you have close friends/family who you can trust and talk to?
Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Proverbs 19:20-21 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Getting advice from people you trust and who love you is very valuable! These relationships have a huge impact on your dating choices.
Sometimes, love can blind you. Your friends and family may notice red flags in your relationship before you do.
If you acknowledge that, you will welcome the input of those who really know you – even if it is criticism.
Sometimes, their input can be wrong. But this usually isn’t the case.
Wise counsel is an important part of you relationship! Ask for it and welcome it!
- 7 Things Every Girl Should Know About Dating (From a Dad)
- 11 Signs He Is the One God Has for You
- 7 Signs He Is Not the One God Has for You
Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
More important than anything else is prayer! Pray and ask God for what His will is for your life.
Before dating someone new, ask yourself these questions and pray for God’s will.
Only He can give you the desires of your heart – if you let Him lead.