What do you do when you see your girl struggling through a personal issue or pain caused by someone else?
Your first instinct as a parent (or guardian) is to protect them, fight their battle for them, and eliminate the problem.
Although there will be times where you intervention is needed, your “serious involvement” can actually hurt her more than help her!
As your girl goes out into life, she needs to be equipped with the ability to face challenges by herself.
However, whether she is a young girl or an adult woman, she NEEDS to hear several important things from you.
1.) “You are deeply loved and cherished.”
On a regular basis, your girl needs to be told she is unconditionally LOVED by you.
She will go through times where she feels ugly, inadequate, clumsy, embarrassed, and unlovable.
When she looks in the mirror, she sees a very different person than you see (internally and externally).
She needs to know that she is loved and cherished by you.
More importantly, she needs to know that she is deeply loved by God!
As she faces painful times in life (big and small), she needs to know that no matter where she goes and no matter what she gets herself into (good or bad), she is loved by you and loved by her God.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
2.) “Difficult times Give You Opportunities To Learn and Grow. But this too will pass.”
The early years of a girl’s life (the school years) are bound to be filled with some friend drama, failed tests, heartache, hurtful words, and unfair treatment.
In those moments, it will feel like her world as she knows it is ending!
But through the hurt, she is learning valuable lessons and figuring out what kind of person she wants to be.
During these times, sit down and talk to her. Allow her to talk and express her feelings without feeling judged!
Sometimes, a listening ear is the most loving thing you can offer your girl.
Offer words of wisdom when you see an opportunity to teach her. Let her know that she is learning and growing – and that you are proud of her.
This will pass and the wounds will heal, but she will be stronger for it.
3.) “You are lovely – exactly who God made you to be!”
NEVER in the history of mankind have girls had the ability at their fingertips (literally) to feel compared and inadequate.
Just scrolling through social media can make a girl feel inferior and self-conscious of her body shape & size.
Without even realizing it, she is comparing herself to her friends and acquaintances. It’s just what most girls do!
She needs YOU to tell her that she is beautiful.
God created her to be different than everyone else! She isn’t suppose to look like and act like those other girls.
She needs to be told “God created you with your own unique personality, character traits, body type, capabilities, talents, and limitations!
Let her know that you love her laugh, sense of humor, freckles, big smile, eye color, sense of fashion, love for animals, kind heart, and gift for a certain subject in school.
She is beautiful inside and out because God made her that way!
4.) “I’m Sorry.”
These are some of the most powerful words your girl will hear you say.
There will be times in life that you (as the older/wiser adult) will make mistakes.
Don’t let these moments pass without acknowledging your wrongdoing and apologizing!
Your example will play a major role in how she responds to personal failure and acceptance of her own shortcomings.
We all fall short of the mark and make mistakes. Consequences are a normal part of life.
Teach her by example! Apologize when you lose your temper or say something you shouldn’t.
This is an incredibly valuable life lesson that will serve her very well.
5.) “Be proud of who you are!”
She is a daughter of the Jesus Christ!
She represents Him everywhere she goes – with her words, actions, and appearance.
Tell her to never allow anyone to make her feel embarrassed for being a Christian girl and a person of deep faith.
Let her know, “Because of your faith, you are NEVER alone! Christ is with you always and you can talk to Him at any time of the day or night.”
As she grows, encourage her to go out and enjoy life and experience new things. But always encourage her to hold tightly onto her faith in Christ.
This world will have a way of discouraging her, subtly mocking her faith, and poking fun at her moral compass & personal standards.
Tell her to be proud of her Savior!
As long as her confidence is in Christ, life will not leave her defeated. It’s a powerful promise and something that will sustain her through the ups and downs of life.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
II Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
Hebrews 10:35-36 “Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.”
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Young girls are incredibly impressionable.
Impress on her life lessons and biblical principles that will guide her throughout life.
Your words and actions have power! Pointing her to Christ is the most loving thing you will ever do.