You’ve met someone special and you think he might be “The One”!
But you’re smart and careful, and you know that marriage is a very serious commitment that you want to get right.
You’ve prayed hard for God’s guidance in your relationship, but you want to have peace that your boyfriend is “husband material” – someone you can spend the rest of your life with!
While no one on earth has all the answers to a successful relationship, there are some key signs that will show you if he is the one God has for you.
Below are11 biblical, godly signs that he may be the man you were meant to marry.
1.) His friends are mature and respectable men
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
I Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
You can tell a lot about a person by the people they associate with!
Do you admire his friends? Are they good, godly men who will encourage your “potential future husband” to be upright and godly?
Or are they immature, lazy, foolish, worldly, and untrustworthy?
If you don’t trust his friends, be on guard that he may be more like them than you want to admit.
However, if he has wise friends, you can find a lot of security in the fact that you approve of and TRUST his circle of influence!
2.) Your Close Friends & Family Approve of Him
Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Having the “thumbs up” from your family and friends can give you the reassurance that you are with someone special.
It is actually very important to get the advice from the people who love you.
When you are in love, it is easy to be blind to serious warning signs – often explaining them away or even ignoring them.
This is where “your people” come in! A best friend or parent may be able to see some negative character traits that you may not see.
Even if you feel hurt, you need to be open to their feedback!
On the other hand, if they absolutely love him, that is a really good sign.
3.) He is Kind to Those Around Him
I Corinthians 13:4-5 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…”
Is he is noticeably kind and caring to you, his family, friends, and the people he interacts with.
Does he anonymously give to people in need?
Is he kind to the waiter/waitress at a restaurant? Or does he talk down to them and excessively complain?
Is he willing to help his friends when they need him?
Does he treat you with tender care – even when you disagree?
Kindness is an incredibly important character trait in a man!
He doesn’t have to wear his heart on his sleeve, but you need to make sure that he isn’t mean, arrogant, and careless.
You want to spend the rest of your life with someone who treats you are your future family with kindness.
4.) He doesn’t change – depending who he is around
Titus 2:7 “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity…”
Is he the same person, no matter who he is around?
- He acts differently around certain friends – in a way that makes you feel insecure.
- He acts more spiritual and “sanctimonious”, depending on who he is around. It makes you feel like he is a fake.
- He says inappropriate things when he is around certain people. It makes you cringe because he isn’t this way around you.
Those are just a few basic examples, but you need to be very careful if you see an inconsistency in his behavior.
Some people are very good at faking who they are. You do not want to marry someone who is one way around you, and a completely other person when you are apart.
You need to marry someone who is consistent in character!
5.) He Actively Pursues You
We live in a time where women often initiate dates and relationships. This can work for some relationships.
But take a good look at men’s natures since the beginning of time.
They love the thrill of the chase! And what woman doesn’t want to feel like a highly-desired, valuable, and precious prize?
No, this isn’t sexist or chauvinistic! YOU ARE A PRIZE that deserves to be won!
If he makes you feel like you need to chase him to get his attention, he probably isn’t the one for you.
Historically, men have always bee the initiators of relationships – and this isn’t just traditional! It has to do with their God-given desire to pursue something that they really want.
If you two are meant to be together, he will try to make sure it happens!
Side Note: Some women may think that this advice is outdated. But statistics, studies, and poll results back this up every single time. Men want to pursue.
6.) He Doesn’t Make You Feel Compared
Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Does he “check out” other women, talk about his ideal woman, or tell you how you can improve?
No – just no!
It is very disrespectful for a man to talk about other women in a way that he should only talk about you.
Your “potential future spouse” shouldn’t make you feel like you need to improve yourself to make them happy.
If you see that he has a bad habit of checking out other women or making inappropriate comments, you have to acknowledge that your boyfriend has a wandering eye – something that will be detrimental to your relationship.
You absolutely need to feel like you are perfect just the way you are – and that he has eyes for only you!
7.) He Has Earned Your Trust
I Corinthians 13:7 “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Be cautious when giving someone your full and complete trust.
Earning someone’s trust is never done quickly because it takes time and takes consistency!
Does he ever act suspiciously? Is he really good at talking his way out of things?
Does he get uneasy when you touch his phone – like he is hiding something?
Do you feel like he is really secretive and uncommunicative about topics that are important for you to discuss?
These are warning signs that you cannot ignore!
If you are in a relationship with a man who is communicative and honest about his flaws, you will find yourself trusting him more and more.
Insecurities are almost always going to be there in the beginning of every relationship. But a good, godly man will prove himself trustworthy over and over again!
8.) He Respects You
Luke 6:31 “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
Many things go into showing respect in a relationship!
Warning Signs of Disrespect:
- He talks over you and disregards your opinion.
- He breeds insecurity in you, purposefully making you sometimes feel like you aren’t his priority.
- You feel pressured (by him) to do things that you are uncomfortable with and know are wrong.
- His phone seems to be his #1 priority. He doesn’t respect your time with him.
- He excessively pokes fun at you and corrects you in public.
If you see any of these signs in your boyfriend/fiance, you need to be very careful! If he doesn’t truly respect you, your relationship is not going to be successful.
It is normal to not agree on everything, but talking through disagreements should not make you feel disrespected and talked down to!
If he respects you, you will know it!
He will make you feel empowered and confident.
He will be proud of who you are and he will support your goals.
He will respectfully discuss your differences, listen to your opinion, and not make you feel ignorant or wrong.
And he will never try to convince you to do something that is immoral or ungodly.
9.) His Actions Speak Louder Than His Words
Jeremiah 9:23 “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches…”
I John 3:18 “Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”
He doesn’t need to tell you that he is a hard worker because you can see it with your own eyes!
He doesn’t have to tell you what a godly man he is because you can see it and others speak highly of him.
And he doesn’t need to constantly tell you that you are the only woman in his life because he treats you with respect and doesn’t make you feel compared.
Does he keep his word? Is he consistent in how he treats you? Is he known to be honest? Do people around him talk about his upright character?
Actions speak far louder than words! If you notice that he is braggadocios and conceited, be very careful.
A good, godly man does not need to talk himself up. He proves it through his actions.
10.) He is 100% secure in his faith in God
Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”
II Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
You do NOT want to marry a man that is not 100% secure in his faith in Jesus Christ.
It is only human to have personal doubts about yourself, but it is not OK to doubt your Creator and the ultimate sacrifice that He made for you!
Make sure your man is rock solid in his faith!
Your relationship needs to be centered on God because He is the only One who has all the answers to a happy, lasting marriage relationship.
11.) He is Secure In Who He Is
Ephesians 4:14 “So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.”
Girl, you do NOT want to marry a wishy-washy man who is easily influenced by the people around him!
You want to marry someone who is steady and consistent! This is the sign of a wise man with leadership ability.
Your future husband needs to be secure in his high moral standards, 100% confident in your relationship together, and proud of his identity in Christ!
The most important relationship advice that anyone can give you is to PRAY HARD!
Get down on your hands and knees and ask God to give you His wisdom as you carefully enter into a serious relationship with someone.
Hopefully, this article gave you some insight into whether someone is “The One” God has for you!